Ainslie's Diary
by Azharia
Summary: So much has happened to me in the past fourteen days that I don't think I'll be able to describe it properly, so I have here a copied version of my diary. You may believe my account to be false, but I assure you that everything I have written is true.


Dear Lydia,

So much has happened to me in the past fourteen days that I don't think I will be able to describe everything properly in this letter. So, I have attached to this letter a photocopy of the diary entries exactly as I wrote it at the time. I hope you won't think I'm mad when you finish reading it because all of the events described in my journal have actually come to pass. You may even write to your Aunt Millie, who lives in town, who can confirm the whole story, or at least the end of it.

I hope you are doing well. I will see you in two weeks when I come to visit on your birthday. I would also like to ask if I can bring a, shall we say, "friend" along, for I am sure that you will want to meet him when you have read what I have written.

Much Love,

Your Best Friend,

Ainslie Miller

**13****th**** of December**

I seem to have discovered a new breed of hawk today. I'm not exactly sure what to call him. He has white feathers all over except for bits of blue that start out bright at the tips of his wings, tail feathers, and beak, then fade as they travel farther into his body. He is a beautiful bird. However, what's most strange about him are his eyes; his eyes are also blue, which is uncommon in animals that are not blind. I know he is not blind because he moves around with ease and watches me as I feed the other birds. I am not quite sure what to do with him at this point.

**15****th**** of December**

I am excited for Christmas. I feel as though it can't come fast enough. I brought in my new friend to the house because he always seems cold when I go to check on him. He seems more comfortable in the house; and, although I know he can fly, he behaves well and avoids flying, if possible. It is highly amusing to see him waddle through the house on his stubby bird feet. I made the mistake of laughing at him once and he flew to my shoulder, pecking once gently on my head, like he understood what I was laughing at. I do believe he actually did understand, which was strange.

**16****th**** of December**

I know I have been calling my new hawk a "he", but I have only recently confirmed it. He actually showed me himself. I was curious and began searching him. He immediately screeched and pulled away, which was unusual in itself because it showed that he understood modesty. He also seemed to know what I wanted. He hopped to the door, stopping to wait for me to open it. Once he was outside, he took off, heading towards the hawk house. He landed outside the door and again waited for me to open it. By then, I was already very disconcerted, but I was shocked when he walked up to one of the pens and stopped in front of a male hawk, turning to stare at me pointedly. I stood there, mouth agape, just gawking at him, until I finally pulled myself together and accepted that there was definitely something strange about this hawk.

**18****th**** of December**

There are 7 more days until Christmas! I can't think of a moment in the past four days where I haven't felt excited. I really hope I get something good this year from Sir Nicolas. He left his letter posted in the city square saying he will be here by 10:00 am on Christmas morning. This is very good considering last year he came at 2:15 in the morning. There is also to be the annual Christmas Eve ball at the castle. Everyone is invited to come and I was actually thinking of going this year. I found this beautiful dress in a store yesterday and Astor (as I have decided to name him) seemed to like it, so I bought it. It really is gorgeous. It is in the style of a French ball gown, but not so uncomfortable. It is the most beautiful shade of blue I have ever seen. I shall take a picture of it and paste it into here at the end of this journal entry because I don't ever want to forget what it looks like. But, I want to write a bit more about Astor. I found the name on the WEI (author's note: their form of internet). I wasn't sure what to call him, so I looked up some names and found that he preferred the name Astor to all of the other options. It was highly amusing to see him hop up and down when he heard me read the name to him off my list. He seems to be in very good spirits all around, though. I do believe my Christmas spirit is rubbing off on him. I have taken to carrying him everywhere on my shoulder because he is so well-behaved and actually quite a good companion. When he saw Sir Nicolas's letter in the square, he practically bounced off my shoulder with happiness. Considering I never read him the letter out loud, I am forced to believe that he can read. However, I think I'm starting to get used to these strange discoveries because, although I was quite shocked at first, I quickly recovered and accepted it as one of his many "talents".

**20****th**** of December**

I feel I am getting more and more girly by the day. I bounce around the house on my tip toes, decorating everything in sight. But, I don't care; it's almost Christmas! Astor is enjoying himself, too. He actually helped me decorate the tree today by holding the ends of the lights and garlands with his feet and flying carefully around and around the tree until he ran out of room. He even helped drape the tree in what seemed like pounds of tinsel by picking up foot-fulls and dropping them onto the branches. When he perched himself on the very tippy-top of the tree to rest, I made the mistake of laughing at him and got a foot-full of tinsel dropped on my head. It didn't matter; I just kept laughing anyway as he went to perch on the back of the sofa instead.

**22****nd**** of December**

We baked so many cookies and pies today that I do believe we will be eating them for the rest of the year. It was so much fun. I never used to like baking or cooking because I always messed up somewhere so that my food turned out badly. However, I have discovered a new talent in my amazing new friend; he can bake! I was about to add the wrong amount of flour, having gotten the amount switched with the amount for sugar, when he knocked into my wrist so that the flour flew everywhere except into the batter. Both he and I got covered in it. You couldn't tell as much with him because he was already mostly white, but I ended up with a white face and white hair. My skin is already pale, but I looked practically ghostly, especially coupled with the whiteness of my once-red hair. Looking into my reflection in the glass of the microwave, I burst out laughing at my ethereal appearance, causing all the flour to puff up into the air. He just watched me giggle, seemingly amusing by my reaction. When I had finished, I wiped off my face (I took a bath later to wash off the rest of the flour), cleaned up the floor, went to the recipe to recheck my flour measurements, and gaped at the page, realizing why he had knocked my hand. When I turned to him, he was pouring the right amount of flour into a clean measuring cup. Completely taken aback, I stared at him as he finished measuring out the flour and dumping it into the bowl. When he was done, he looked up at me as though asking what came next. I closed my mouth and went back to work, filing this away for future thought. Now that I am writing this, I think, although this will sound crazy, that Astor isn't really a bird (although, I have no idea what he actually is).

**24****th**** of December**

Today is Christmas Eve! I'm so excited, I feel as though I will jump right out of my skin and fly. Even Astor has been becoming as merry as, if not more than, I am. We spent today wrapping presents together for the townspeople, me doing the actual wrapping and him fetching supplies. When it came to wrapping his present, I sent him away from the room. I got him some of his favorite sweets, dark chocolate mints, not knowing what else to give him. I feel he deserves so much more for being such a good friend and companion, but I'm not sure what to get a bird for Christmas. I will just have to give him actions rather than gifts. I am planning to start with giving him the best Christmas Eve and Christmas Day ever!

**26****th**** of December**

I scarcely know how to put all of this into words. So much has happened in the last day and a half that this journal entry is quite likely to get very long! I will start with the night of Christmas Eve. I had a nice long chat with Astor, telling him that, if and only if I decided to take him to the ball the next night, he would have to be extremely well-behaved. In my heart, I had already come to the conclusion that I would have to take him, for if I didn't, I would feel alone at the ball; I had become quite accustomed to his company and didn't like to be away from him for long periods of time. The next morning we were both up early and already bouncing down to town to wait for Sir Nicolas to come. When he finally flew up on the back of his reindeer, we both jumped up to him before any of the townspeople even had a chance. He laughed and handed us our gifts with a wink; even Astor received one.

The rest of the day was passed pleasantly opening gifts and relaxing around the house until the ball that evening. I dressed carefully so that, when I was done, not a single ruffle was out of place. When I was finally ready, Astor settled gently on my shoulder and we headed out. The ball was held at the castle. The castle had belonged to the young lord that ruled over our little province, but it was said that he disappeared centuries ago. Now, the castle was only used for celebrations such as this and it even had public bathrooms built into it. We had a good time at the party. I didn't dance with anyone, but enjoyed talking to my friends from the village; and by the time the big clock in the square began to strike midnight, I had made up my mind (about thirteen times) to leave, but couldn't actually bring myself to go. However, this was when everything started to happen. With the first chime of the bell, Astor's blue wings, beak, and tail feathers, turned white. With the second, his entire body started to glow. With the third, people started to turn to look at him. With the fourth, I ran from the room. The fifth found us in one of the public women's bathrooms. The sixth found Astor rising into midair above the floor. The seventh was when he started to change. In the time it took to get from the seventh chime to the twelfth chime, Astor's entire body had grown and morphed into that of a young man's (thankfully clothed).

I stared at him in absolute shock. He was tall and lean, not quite muscular and a little lanky, but in a pleasant way. His clothes were those of a century well-past, but they fit in tonight because of the ball. He had short, black, wavy hair that framed his face nicely. However, what most convinced me that he was my hawk, my Astor, was his blue eyes—the eyes that I had thought strange for him to have without being blind. He waited for my thoughts to catch up with me, watching me warily as I slowly ran my eyes up and down his entire body. By the time I had made the third pass, he finally spoke.

"I..." he began hesitantly, as though not sure of what to say, "Er...Well, this is...This must explain a lot."

"Mmm..." I said, not really knowing what I was agreeing with until I forced myself out of my stupor. Trying to sound slightly more intelligent, I said, "So you're Astor."

"Yes," he said, still watching me warily as though I was going to snap at any moment. I thought back to what he had said first.

"You're right," I said.

"About what?" he asked, confused.

"This definitely does explain a lot," I said.

"Oh." We stood there for a moment, both feeling awkward. I still felt stunned, but forced my brain to move past the many denials it was offering me about what I had just witnessed and into acceptance.

"Who are you?" I asked, breaking the silence.

"Uh... Christopher Brandlyn," he said, sounding as though he had been pulled from his thoughts.

"Wait," I said, frowning, "I've heard that name somewhere before, haven't I?"

"Yes, I'm sure everyone in the town has heard of it. I'm the lord who disappeared from this castle many years ago. I'm not even sure how many years," he said, "I lost count long ago."

"Why were you...?" I trailed off.

"A bird?" he supplied for me, "I was put under a spell."

I stared at him for a moment, waiting for the punch line. When I realized it wasn't coming, I nodded lamely, trying to get my stunned thoughts back into order.

"So..." I said.

"Um..." he said.

"Well, where do we go from here?" I asked, frowning a bit as I thought.

"I'm not sure," he said truthfully.

"I guess...you should go," I said after a moments consideration.

"What?" he asked, staring at me.

"Well...you've returned to your original body. You have your life back," I said, miserable but trying to be reasonable, "I have nothing to keep you here."

He looked at me for a moment with an expression on his face that I didn't understand. Finally, he said, "Alright," and turned around.

I stared at his back as he walked out the door. When the door closed behind him, I felt something deep inside of me break and with a sudden rush, tears sprang into my eyes. I thought about the past two weeks since I had found him and realized the change he had brought to my life. It had been so gradual that I hadn't even noticed it, but in those past two weeks, I had been happier than I had been my entire life. The tears began to pour down my cheeks as I thought of trying to live without him. What was more, I thought that maybe I...

Without even realizing it, I had crossed the length of the bathroom and pushed through the doors.

"Wait!" I called. He stopped, already three-quarters of the way across the great front hall, and turned around. I paused, not sure how to ask him for what I wanted so desperately.

"I...please...you..."I stammered, "Could you...maybe stay...with...me?" I blushed to be saying this out loud, but I knew now that I couldn't live without him; I had to stop him from leaving. He was silent for so long, I was afraid that he wouldn't answer me; and it didn't help that I couldn't see his expression from this far across the massive hall. Eventually, I spoke again, the words tumbling out of my mouth almost against my own will.

"Please, stay with me. I know I have nothing to offer you and that you're a lord and everything, but I can't live without you. I was stupid and didn't realize it before, but... I think I love you. And I don't care if you reciprocate my feelings, but I've never felt like this with anyone before, not even my own family, which I guess would be weird because I can't love my family in a romantic way..." I prattled. I couldn't stop myself; when I was nervous, I talked. I could tell that the words coming out of my mouth sounded idiotic, but they just kept coming. I kept on babbling, even when he started to stride across the hall, even when he drew right up in front of me, right up until he kissed me. My eyes widened in astonishment before they slowly closed and I melted into him. I felt as though a spark went through me from the point where his lips were touching mine and was spreading rapidly throughout my body. When he finally drew away, my lips sorely missed the contact, but he pulled me into his arms.

"I'll stay," he whispered into my ear, causing me to shiver involuntarily. I wrapped my arms firmly around his waist, clutching him to me, determined to hold him to his promise.


End file.
